This process has begun for women, but efforts for men are incipient," said Michal Avni, gender adviser in the Office of Population and Reproductive Health and coordinator of the Interagency Gender Working Group at the U.
Agency for International Development. To date, attempts to incorporate men's issues into the gender discussion have been met with resistance: "There are great concerns that there are limited resources for women, and that if we put [resources] into men's issues, we will be taking money away from the women, who really deserve it," said Maria Correia, program manager of the Multi-Country Demobilization and Reintegration Program in the Africa Region of the World Bank. A collection of nine case studies, The Other Half of Gender aims to identify men's issues and uncover the connections between gender and development— specifically in the framework of conflict concerns, such as rising male unemployment, the declining proportion of men in higher education, and boys' underperformance in primary and secondary schools.
Gary Barker , chief executive at Instituto Promundo in Brazil and a contributor to the book, asked, "Why should we care about men?
Why does masculinity matter? Rather, they are molded from cultural mores, traditions, and customs. Looking strictly at women leaves out those factors that contribute to women's marginalization.
Masculinity is defined differently in many parts of the world. In sub-Saharan Africa, being a man means being a provider. This status is contingent upon attaining several prerequisites: gainful employment, land, the bride price money or goods paid to the bride's family , and often permission from the tribe or community leader—sometimes called the "Big Man.
According to Barker, men who cannot achieve a legitimate version of manhood will search for other ways to assert their masculinity: "Men with low equity are more prone to violence and arrest records. There is also an association with delinquency, high rates of violence against women, and low condom use.
Conflict groups have learned to feed off the problems facing men. In Africa, armed groups have used techniques such as the manipulation of traditional rites of passage, as well as threats, coercion, and propaganda, to socialize men and young boys into conflict. Mary Amuyunzu-Nyamongo, executive director of the African Institute for Health and Development, studied shifts in gender roles in six districts in Kenya.
Following the country's financial collapse in the s, income inequality increased; and in , 57 percent of Kenyans lived below poverty line, while the top 10 percent of the country controlled 48 percent of the wealth. Some men found alternative livelihoods, but many could not find work. He's charming as the day is long. He meets your friends and they love him, he even manages to charm your mother.
But he's weird with your dad. If he agrees to meet him at all he's hostile and sullen. By month three of dating, he's got a pretty solid sense of who you are, where you come from. Of course, there's still a shit ton to learn, but there's a foundation. But you know almost nothing about him. You know where he lives, you know what music he likes, you know he makes him laugh until you want to pee, but, that's kind of it.
Even if he really, really wants to say 'I love you' , it's just not possible. It's buried deep in his throat. You can tell he cares when he smiles at you or lets loose a comfort-fart in your presence. Try fighting with a guy who has daddy issues. Try it. They were always unreliable.
They always let you down, and that wounded you. So to avoid being hurt again, you avoid making commitments. When a woman starts falling for you, you panic and ghost them or sabotage your relationship with them by doing something stupid. You never received loving physical touch as a child and if you were touched at all as a child, it was to have the crap beaten out of you. Same as telling someone you love them… you were never told you were loved and so it is very awkward for you to tell a woman you love them as it makes you feel too vulnerable.
So, it seems like you were never able to figure out how to do things right. It seemed like the rules always changed and you were always in the wrong. Mommy and daddy issues are issues that are deeply rooted -they originated because of ongoing behavior that happened at the most crucial stage in your life- they can be quite difficult to unpack. Mental health professionals insist that taking the time to understand, process, and work through the unresolved grievances and feelings we have about our parents is essential as healing ourselves will give us the ability to have healthy partnerships that are equal and fulfilling.
And therapy is it! Therapy for anyone who needs help discussing their past and childhood relationships. You will need a professional who will be able to help you unpack your emotions and process them in a healthy way, as well as teach you to cope with the emotions, allowing you to work towards having better, healthier relationships and consequently better quality of life.
Having daddy or mommy issues is not your fault. Remember that with hard work, you can move past the issues and have loving, fulfilling, romantic relationships. Picture depicting a healthy father-son relationship.
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